A Typical Fight Between YouKnowWhos
by ladyxkodomo
Summary: Yes, Sana and Akito are the best couple ever, next to Sakura and Syaoran...but they do fight...and what happens when they do? Read this! It's weird...very...but it is a good time-killer!finally...CHAPTER 5 UP! CHAPTER 5 UP!For Hurricane Iz.
1. Default Chapter

  
A/N: Hi everyone! I'm going through a new manga phase, Kodocha, otherwise known as Kodomo No Omocha...I'm just writing this to kill time since I have to wait a few more hours till I get to go to Borders for my Kodocha number 6 and 7...hehe...well...R and R, everyone! No matter how crazy it may seem, I am crazier! Aiiight?   
Disclaimer: I own not the works of Miho Obana, otherwise known as Kodomo No Omocha/Kodocha....*sniff* OH, HOW VERY SAD THAT IS!!   
****** 

A Typico Fight...

[Akito is looking out the window, concentrating on something.]   
Sana: OI! AKITO! What are you planning now?!   
Akito: *Sigh* Here we go again...   
Sana: What, bored of me or something?   
Akito: Took you that long to notice?   
Sana: AH! You think you're so fine, hotshot! Think again!  
Akito: (thinking) She's got some loose bolts in that brain of hers...   
Sana: YOU WON'T ANSWER ME...spill your butts, Hayama...I know something's brewing in that dysfunctional brain of yours!   
Akito: DYSFUNCTIONAL? What the hell? Talking to yourself in a mirror, Kurata?   
Sana: You wish, Hayama! You little karate rookie!   
Akito: Don't call me a rookie, you crap actress!   
Sana: (she's reallly pissed now) OH HO HO! Call me a crap actress, will you, you...LEOPARD BOY!   
[Akito automatically transforms into a leopard, though he doesn't realize it.]   
Akito: Leopard boy? Where the heck did you get that lame insult?   
Sana: If only you knew...   
Akito: Look, Kurata, I'm sick and tired of your--   
Sana: YOU, sick and tired of me!??! Ha! Like that will ever measure up to how much I get sick and tired of _you--_   
Akito: Shut up, little girl!   
Sana: Make me, crap ass!   
Akito: I think I just did, bra-less loser!   
Sana: I WEAR A BRA, YOU PERVERT! (covers her chest with her arms)   
Akito: Yeah, ok, so what size are you? AAAAAAAAAAAAAA, I bet...maybe even lower!   
Sana: FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I WEAR B--   
Akito: (pretending to be shocked) Oh, Sana, how much your nonexistant breasts have grown from five minutes ago!   
Sana: (chasing him around the room with the mallet) YOU LAME KARATE AMATEUR!!!   
Akito: CRAP ASS ACTRESS!   
Tsuyoshi: Oh, my god...when will it end?   
Aya: And we thought they were mature... 

2 Hours Later...   
Sana and Akito are making out in the closet.   
Tsuyoshi: What the--weren't they like, just fighting?   
Aya: Yeah...what a weird relationship...at least they stopped fighting, though.   
From inside the closet:   
Sana: EEEEYAAAAAAAHHH! DON'T SNAP MY BRA, YOU PERVERT! YOU MOLESTER!   
Akito: SANA! I didn't do anything!! That wasn't me, I SWEAR--   
Sana: YEAH, WHATEVER! GET UP, PRETTY BOY! LEMME SEE HOW THOSE KARATE PEOPLE TRAINED YOU!   
Akito: WATCH YOUR MOUTH, LITTLE LADY!   
.....   
Akito: Oh, Sana?   
Sana: Hmmm?  
Akito: After we beat each other up and fire all the insults we can at each other, can we--   
Sana: Yeah, we can make out...I mean...make up.   
Akito: Ok. Good.   
....   
Sana: AMATEUR LAZY KARATE LOSER!   
Akito: STUPID FAKEY ACTRESS! OW! DAMN MALLET!   
Sana: HAHAHAHHAHA!!! BEHOLD THE POWER OF MY MALLET!!   
...   
15 Minutes Later...   
The closet is locked. 

******************   
A/N: Haha, that was weird, I know, but I just got bored one day so yeah...hehe... 


	2. Here We Go Again

  


A/N: Ehehe! I'm baaack! I wasn't originally going to make a second chapter to this but hey...I'm in da mood for a typical Sana/Aki fight!!! I'm done reading number 7...I'm reading the books out of order because I can't stand suspense...but I can't find a Borders that carries numbers 9 and 10!!! Oy!!! What happened there?!?! Oh YEAH...they're not IN PRINT yet...damn! Ok...enough consistent rambling...on to the second chapter!   
Disclaimer: Kodomo no Omocha/Kodocha no owned by lil ole me, but by Miho Obana, manga artist, who can surely draw manga way better than me! (Akito's face is super hard...!) 

A Typico Fight...2... 

[Mr.Sengoku is teaching class.]   
Sengoku: Alright, class, who is finished with the assignment? Group A?   
Tsuyoshi: Yeah, we're done, Mr.Sengoku.   
Sengoku: Good. Hayama, can you please read the results?   
Akito: (stands up and reads the results)   
Sengoku: Hmmm...zero. The results were totally wrong. Can't you do anything right, Hayama?   
Akito: Well. At least if I had a toupee I could put it on right. But unlike you, I don't.   
[The class laughs.]   
Sengoku: (turns red) Come here, Hayama!   
Akito: (stands up and walks over to Sengoku)   
Sengoku:(scribbles something on a piece of paper) Take this to classroom 8. The counselor is teaching there...she'll deal with you.   
Akito: (silently thinking: oh yeah! I get to go to Sana's class! But then again, Fuka is there too...oh well...she's still my friend.]   
[he walks to class 8.]   
Counselor: And now, children, I'd like to talk about sexual harrasment and what you can do to prevent this! Can I have a volunteer?   
[No one raises their hands, but at that moment, Akito walks in.]   
Counselor: Oh! Young man, would you like to show an example of sexual harrasment?   
Akito: What the hell?   
Counselor: *whispers* Do it, you little pervert.   
Akito: Um...alright.   
Sana: What the hell is Akito doing in here?   
Fuka: Aki? You in trouble again? Hasn't Sana been teachin' you anythin' 'bout not gettin' into trouble?!?   
Counselor: Alright...let's have Sana Kurata as the victim.   
Sana: HUH? Miss Counselor, are you sure you know what you're doing?   
Counselor: You two are boyfriend and girlfriend, aren't you?   
Akito: How the hell did you know? (thinking: Nosy cow!)   
Counselor: I get around. Miss Kurata, please come here.   
[Sana gets up, her face is all red.]   
Counselor: Now, Akito, please demonstrate a simple act of sexual assault on Miss Kurata.   
Akito: *ppft* Of course...   
[He snaps her bra.]   
Sana: EEK! Oi, Akito, get your dirty paws off me!   
Akito: I don't have dirty paws! At least I didn't have to see your ugly face while I did it!   
Sana: Ugly!?! Whatever! I feel so sorry for you because you can't tell how ugly you are just because every mirror you look into breaks!!   
Akito: Whatever! They're all broken in my house because you kept looking into them every time you come to my house!   
Counselor: Children, please...   
Sana+Akito: (to the counselor) SHUT UP!   
Counselor: Um.... (cowers in the corner)   
Sana: The only reason I look into the mirrors in your house is to check if they're not broken by you!   
Akito: Whatever! So not true! Alright. Maybe the mirrors don't break...   
Sana: Ha!   
Akito:...because they put so much makeup on you, it covers your true face completely.   
Sana: AAAARGH! (smacks him on the head with the mallet)   
Akito: DAMMIT! OW!   
Fuka: Guys! You gotta stop! You're gonna kill each other this way!   
Akito: Believe me, Fuka-OWCH-we've been doing this for-SHIT!-three years and-OW!-no one's died yet.   
Sana: HAHAHHAHA! BET YOU WISH YOU HAD A MALLET, HUH? A baby mallet would pack a lot more punch than your pathetic little karate kicks!   
Akito: (boiling blood) What'd you say?   
Sana: I said...   
Akito: Nevermind. Forget it.   
[A paper falls out of his pocket.]   
Counselor: May I see that, please?   
[Akito hands it over.]   
Counselor: "Dear Miss Counselor, Akito Hayama has been sent to your class for his vulgar behavior...his punishment is to lock him in the broom closet with his least favorite person..."   
Sana+Akito: That is the lamest punishment I have ever heard.   
Counselor: You two don't seem to like each other all that well.   
Sana: Yes, and...? (secretly happy)   
Akito: Well, what are we waiting for?   
[Akito and Sana run into the closet and lock it tight.]   
Counselor: What do you suppose they're doing in there, Miss Matsui?   
Fuka: Oh, you don't wanna know...(smiles)   
[Suddenly there is a loud slap in the closet.]   
Sana: Don't try and unhook my bra, Akito, you dirty little pervert!   
Akito: Damn, I thought you wouldn't notice! 

-END-   
********   
A/N: Should I continue? Hehe!   
  
  



	3. Ay yi yi yi yi

A/N: ALRIGHT!! I'M READY!!! I'M ALL FIRED UP! IT'S 2 IN THE PM! AND I JUST WOKE UP! Late, huh? Well nowadays I usually sleep around 1 or 2 o clock in the wee morn. Because I can't sleep. Oh well. It happens. Here's the third chapter of the Kodocha story that I've been gettin the most reviews for!!!! HAAHAHHAHA!!! Oh well.   
Disclaimer: I don't own Kodomo no Omocha/Kodocha. Why? Because I was a wee one in 1991/92/93 when the series was first published, and the only kind of manga I could draw back then was a deranged "picture" of Sailor Moon. And cats. And houses. And the sky. And people/dogs. Nevermind, my childhood artist ramblings are too twisted. 

A Typico Fight Between You-Know-Whos, Chapter 3   


Sana: Guess what guess what guess whaaaat!!!   
Akito: Chickenbutt.   
Sana: Close!   
Tsuyoshi: Tell us, Sana!   
Sana: I'm going to be in a play for all of the students that ever joined Komawari Theatre and I'm inviting all of you!!!   
Akito: Whoopee.   
Tsuyoshi: That's great! [looks at Akito] You don't seem too happy, Akito.   
Akito: It's new. It's called sarcasm. Have you ever heard of it?   
Tsuyoshi: Umm....I'm not sure...   
Fuka: Hey guys! What's goin on?   
Tsuyoshi: Sana invited us to her play!   
Fuka: Wow! Am I invited?   
Sana: Duh!   
Fuka: Yeaaa!!   
Sana: It's tomorrow. The play is about this girl who falls in love with a guy but the girl's best friend hears, and it gets all mixed up but then the guy has to save his friend who goes off to kill himself and he says he still loves the girl!   
Akito+Fuka: That sounds too familiar...   
Sana: Oh, no, wait, I was just reading Kodocha volume #7. Hehe! Anyway, it's Romeo and Juliet.   
Fuka: Oh you mean that ole Shakespeare play when the two lovers kill themselves? Because they ain't allowed to be together?   
Sana: Yeah! And they kiss!   
Akito: They _what?_   
Sana: They kiss!   
Akito: Are you Juliet?   
Sana: Yeah! And Naozumi is Romeo!   
Akito: [steam shoots out of his ears] WHAT?!?!?   
Tsuyoshi: Hehehehhe....   
Sana: What are you so upset about?   
Akito: [shakes his head] Uh, it's just that when you kiss Naozumi your face will be so close to his that the toxic gas will automatically kill him.   
Sana: WHAT?   
Akito: And if that doesn't happen, your lips will automatically send acid through his mouth since your face is so ugly it actually send off atomic waves.   
Sana: Shut up, boy! At least if I karate chopped a slab of tofu it would break in half!   
Akito: What are you saying?   
Sana: I'm saying that your pathetic karate moves will _never _match up to my acting skills.   
Fuka: Guys, guys...   
Akito: WHAT?!? Your face is so hard and ugly that no one can karate chop through it but your brain is so soft that if I poked it it would just fall apart!   
Sana: [gets out mallet] Let's fight, boy!   
Akito: Hiyah!   
Fuka: Oh no...   
[Sana and Akito fight until they get really tired.]   
Akito: So...who won?   
Sana: Me, obviously.   
Akito: The only thing you could win is a glee club tournament.   
Sana: [mallet hits him in the head] Damn you Hayama! Ok, everyone! The play is tomorrow at 9! Don't be late!   
[Sana runs off.]   
Tsuyoshi: So....is everyone going to be there?   
Fuka: You betcha!   
Aya: Yeah...   
Akito: *snort* Guess so. I wanna see if Kamura dies or not.   
[Next Day]   
Sana: HI EVERYONE! Wow! You guys actually came!   
Fuka: Duh! What else would we do?   
Akito: Well, I'd be at home, watching TV, probably practicing for my new belt test--   
Sana: [mallet hits him on the head] Shut up! You know you'd be here.   
Tsuyoshi: Yeah, Akito...   
Akito: So when does this thing start?   
Naozumi: Now.   
Sana: Aiyee! Where did you come from, Nao?   
Akito: [thinking] Nao?   
Naozumi: I came from the dressing room, Sana, it's time to start the play.   
Sana: Ok! [runs off]   
Akito: [whispers to Naozumi] Don't enjoy your kissing scene too much, Kamura.   
Naozumi: You wish...   
Akito: [super glare]   
Naozumi: [super smirk] I'll be seeing you.   
Akito: Whatever.   
Tsuyoshi: [thinking] That is not good...   
[They all sit down and the play starts]   
Sana: Oh, Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou?   
(A/N: I don't know the whole Romeo wording thing so I'll just guess...iight?)   
Fuka: Ohmigod, Sana is so good!   
Tsuyoshi: Yeah, isn't she, Akito?   
Akito:....I guess.   
Sana: Oh, Romeo, why must you take your life? Since you have taken yours I will do the same by kissing thou lips to taste the poison...   
Akito: [thinking] *Ohshitohshitohshitohshitohshit*   
Sana: [leans down and kisses Naozumi]   
Akito: THAT'S IT!!!! AAAAAARRRRRRGGGH!!! MY GOD THAT WAS SO WRONG!   
Tsuyoshi: Akito shut up!! This is a play!   
Sana: A...Akito? What the hell are you doing?!? Shut up!!!   
Akito: Why the hell did you just do that!??!   
Sana: Because it's part of the play!!!   
Akito: I don't give a damn if it's part of the play!   
Sana: There you go again! Criticizing my acting skills!   
Akito: I am not CRITICIZING your damn acting skills, Sana, I am CRITICIZING that kiss!   
Naozumi: Get a grip, Akito, just because you ******* doesn't mean Sana has to ***** with you.   
Akito: LET ME AT 'EM! LET ME AT 'EM! YOU ASS! YOU BITCH! YOU--   
Sana: [takes out huge mallet and hits him on the head] My God! You couldn't even dodge that! And you call yourself worthy for me?   
Akito: [burns a hole in the wall with his karate chop] I do better when I'm pissed off.   
Sana: Good for you! Does it look like I give a damn?   
Akito: Well, by the way you act, it could burn a hole in the wall because your acting sucks so much!   
Sana: LET ME AT 'EM! LET ME AT 'EM! OOOOH YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!   
Tsuyoshi: Aaaaw, maaaaan...   
Fuka: I hope one of 'em dies this time. I'm kinda gettin tired of this shit...   
Aya: I agree....   
Audience: Oooh, I love this play.   
Little girl: Mama, what's a ***** and a *****?   
Mom: Ssssh, honey, don't say that. They're dirty words.   
Little girl: Oooooooh!!! Ok, Mama.   
Sana: HIYAH!   
Akito: [dodge] *snap* Oooopsy...   
Sana: AIYAH! MY BRA!  
Mom: *gasp!*   
Little girl: Hehehehehhe she said bra....   
Akito: Come on, that's got to come off some day...   
Naozumi: For me...   
Akito: Shut up, Kamura! Want to fight?!?   
Naozumi: Gladly! (gets out laser stick) May the force be with you.   
Akito: (gets out laser stick) I am your father...   
Fuka+Sana+Aya+Tsuyoshi: Oh, no.... 

END   
********   
A/N: Hmmm....I think this will be the last chapter...   



	4. Finally, Fuka Almost Ends the Tragedy

A/N: Yeaaaaayyyy!!! Orginally (meaning, what I was going to do until luvly people convinced me not to), I wasn't going to make a 4th chapter for this because I had so many other stories to work on, and, I didn't have a plot idea for this one. BUT! Yes, but. I think I have a few to contend with. So! You all got your wish. Thank you, faithful reviewers, such as you, um, well, thanks to all of you!!!! I love you all!!! (throws roses onto the stage) Mwah mwah! Hey, does anyone ever read my author notes anywayz?!?!?!? Are these just _here!?!?!? _Gasp. How dare ye.   
Disclaimer: I don't own Kodocha/Kodomo no Omocha. My God, someday I am going to put a ban on disclaimers. Hmmm, but then I'd get arrested. Aiyah, so many consequences...   


A Typico Fight Between You-Know-Whos, Chapter 4   


Sana: Hey everyone! Guess what Fuka just entered...and won?   
Fuka: Yeah!   
Tsuyoshi: Oh? Tell us!   
Akito: *snort* I don't really care...   
Sana: [hits him on the head with the mallet] Shut up, Akito! Stop being mean to your ex-girlfriend!   
Akito: Don't tell me what to do!   
Sana: [pulls out a rope] Make me.   
Akito: I have a laser stick!   
Sana: I have...um...what do I have besides a mallet, anyway?   
Aya: You have a naked mole rat.   
Rufus: Hello hello hello!   
Kim+Ron: RUFUS!!! Get back here!!!   
Rufus: Awwwww...   
[Rufus jumps into a hole.]   
Sana: Ummm...what was that?   
Akito: That was Rufus, the naked mole rat, you idiot.   
Sana: Don't call me an idiot, idiot! .... Hey, how do you know that, anyway?   
Akito: Umm....it was on tv.   
Tsuyoshi: Akito, we don't get American television in Japan.   
Akito: Then why are we speaking English?   
All: ........   
ladyxkodomo: You're making this all too complicated!! Stick with the script, you morons!!!!   
All: Yes mistress ladyx.   
ladyxkodomo: 'S what I _thought._   
[ladyxkodomo runs out of the picture.]   
Akito: So. What did Fuka win?   
Fuka: Yeah! Finally someone notices again!!!   
Sana: So, everyone....Fuka won...   
Fuka: An all-expenses-paid trip...to...   
Sana: A FISH MARKET!!!!   
Tsuyoshi: Eh?   
Fuka: ONSEN!!!   
[Onsen in Japanese means hot springs.]   
All: [except Akito] YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!   
Akito: There's no chance this is like, un segregreated baths is it?   
Fuka: No way. Do you think I would take ya'll to a unisex onsen? I don't think so.   
Akito: Not even a little chance?   
Sana: No, you pervert! [hits him on the head with mallet]   
Fuka: I also heard that this onsen has a deluxe sushi bar, Aki.   
Akito: Su....sushi??!?! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, LET'S GO!!!   
[Akito grabs everyone and flies to the onsen.]   
Sana: I think Akito loves sushi more than me.   
Fuka: I wonder what Aki would do if he saw you makin' sushi?   
Sana: He'd go crazy. He'd start drooling, and then he'd probably try and do it with me like he did in book 10, except he'd be stuffing his face with sushi...   
Fuka: Eeeew, gross!   
Tsuyoshi: AKITO!!! YOU CAN'T FLY!!   
Akito: I can now!   
[Akito lands at the onsen.]   
Akito: WHERE'S THE SUSHI BAR?!?!?   
Sana: Wow! We're actually at the onsen!   
Fuka: The sushi bar is over there---   
[Akito flies to the sushi bar.]   
Person: Welcome to the Tohoku Mountain Onsens. Women's baths are on the right, and men's baths are on the left. Outdoor baths for both sexes are located in the back.   
Aya: And this is with bathing suits, right?   
Person: [evil grin] Well. Only if you want to.   
[Person walks away.]   
Fuka: Whuss dat supposed to mean?!?   
Sana: I got no idea...   
[AT THE SUSHI BAR]   
Akito: Uh, I'll have some of this and that and those and oh those too and this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too this and that and those and oh those too, and some wasabi, please.   
Sushi person: ......can you repeat that please?   
Akito: I'll have...   
[AT THE OUTDOOR BATHS]   
[Don't worry, they're all wearing bathing suits.]   
Fuka: Aaaah, this feels so nice.   
Sana: [dips under the water]   
Aya: Hey, Sana fell asleep!   
Tsuyoshi: Or maybe she's just avoiding her fans?   
Sana: zzzzz.... [pops back up]   
Aya: Hey, she's back!   
Sana: zzzz....[dips back down]   
Japanese woman: HEY! SANA KURATA JUST DROWNED!!   
Everyone else [except for the group]: OH MY GOD!!! SOMEONE CALL 119!!! [Japanese equivalent to 911. I think.]   
Fuka: SHE DID NOT DROWN, YOU FANATICS! SHUT UP AND PRETEND YOU NEVER SAW SANA KURATA!!!!   
[Everyone goes back to what they were doing before.]   
Sana: zzz...[pops back up] Mmm, that felt so nice. Did anything happen?   
All: No, no, Sana, of course not. No one noticed you at all.   
Fuka: Hey, yall, I'm finished with these baths, me and Sana are goin' to the private baths.   
Tsuyoshi: Ok, see you later.   
Sana: Bye!   
[BACK TO THE SUSHI BAR...]   
Akito: [stuffing his face with sushi]   
Sushi person: Aren't you gonna go to the outdoor baths when you're done?   
Akito: Mibe I jeth go to duh prifat bats fer na. *Maybe I'll just go to the private baths for now.   
Sushi person: What?   
Akito: Can I have a beer?   
Sushi person: Aren't you underage?   
Akito: I just said that I just turned 21, so gimme some damn beer.   
Sushi person: Yessir.   
Akito: [eats the rest of his sushi and drinks the beer] Whoo-ee. Bye bye sushi guy. Gotta go takey bath now!   
Sushi person:.....   
[At the private baths]   
Akito: Rubber ducky, you're soo fine....which bath me go?   
[Right side: Ladies. Left side: Men.]   
Akito: Right, men, left, ladies. Kaykay. Me go right then.   
[Uh-oh...don't worry...it's still bathing suit-ed.]   
Sana: Wow, this feels so nice, Fuka...how high do you think the tempurature is?   
Fuka: zzzzzz...   
Akito: Woah!! There's a lotta transvestites in the men section!   
All: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!   
Sana: Huh? [turns around] AKITO?!?!?   
Fuka: zzzz *kkkncht* Huh? AKI?!?!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOIN IN THE WOMEN'S BATHS?!?   
Akito: Sawa! Fuga!   
Sana: What the hell-?   
Akito: Me eat lots of sushi and drink beer.   
Sana: YOU DRANK BEER?!?!?   
Akito: [smiles big grin] Eeeeehehhehe!   
Sana: [hits him on the head with a mallet] Come on, Akito! Come back to your senses!!   
Akito: Senses? Don't got one. Check the car.   
Sana: AKIIIITOOOO!!!   
Fuka: I know! [whispers something in Sana's ear]   
Sana: Aaaah, good idea.   
Sana: Yoo-hoo, Akito, it's me, your girlfriend, Sana Kurata, and I've got a biiiig plate of _SUSHI _here for you...   
Akito: [head pops up] Sana? Sushi? Oh my god, it's pure heaven!   
[Akito dives at the sushi, misses, and plunges into the bath.]   
Fuka+Sana: Yup, he's back.   
Akito: Damn! Where's the sushi!   
Sana: Up my ass! Come here, Akito, I got a score to settle with you!   
Akito: Shoot, Miss Superstar!   
Sana: Why did you drink beer?!!? You're underage! Or are you so stupid to forget that you're 13 and not 21?!?   
Akito: I drank beer because I felt like it, idiot! Anyway, you'll never be able to drink beer because you're so childish you'll never grow up!   
Sana: *snort* ME?!? Childish!??! I'm not the one who was singing 'Rubber Ducky' and mixing up the things they read!   
Akito: [turns red] I WAS DRUNK!   
Sana: I KNOW! And that's exactly the problem! Because you should be drinking...   
[Sana turns around and pulls a cape behind her.]   
Akito:....?   
Sana:.....MADAME SANA'S MOO-MOO MIXTURE!!! [holds out a bottle]   
Akito+Fuka: [face fault]   
Sana: Madame Sana's Moo-Moo Mixture is a specifically indicated blend of something and some other things. Nobody really knows what's in it but of course that information is specifically indicated but I'm not sure what that means. Madame Sana's Moo-Moo Mixture is all-natural, fat-free and whatever good things I'm supposed to say for the sake of selling this utter useless crap. Not sold in stores. Good while supplies last. Note: Madame Sana's Moo-Moo Mixture also not authorized for individual sales.   
Akito: That thing should be called Madman Sana's Moo-Moo Crap.   
Sana: [hits him on the head with a bottle] Shut up, little one. You have learned much, but you are still not a Jedi.   
Akito: *cries hysterically* When will I be? I have trained so much! *cries* When will this end?!?!   
Sana: [looking solemn]....Never.   
Akito: Whew, okay, I'll just keep training till then.   
Fuka: [vein pops] YOU GUYS'RE REALLY IRKIN ME!!!! WOULD YOU GUYS JEST SHUT UP...NOW?!?!?   
Sana+Akito: Only if she does.   
Akito: Sana...did you just call me a she?   
Sana: *gasp* You mean you _aren't _a transvestite?!?!   
Fuka: AAAAH!!! DASSIT!!! I'M THROUGH!!!   
Akito: She's snapped...   
[The Magical Fuka picks up Sana and Akito and throws them into China.]   
Fuka: [she's back to normal] Aaaah....bath time.   
[walks off]   
[MEANWHILE, IN CHINA]   
Chinese person: Nihao.   
Sana: Nihao!! Got dumplings?   
Chinese person: Yep yep.   
Sana: YAAAAH!!! DUMPLINGS!!!   
Akito: *mumbling* What the hell am I doing...? 

>>>>>>   
A/N: Whew! This took me awhile. Anyway, probably one more installment and then...IT'S OVER!!!! I SWEAR!!!   
  
  



	5. Hurricane Isabel, Typhoon Akito

  
  


A/N: DARN YOU PEOPLE!!!! Every time I decide to end this fic once and for all, YOU GO ALL SWEET AND SAY "One more chapter!!! Please!!! PLEASE!!!!!! PLEASE BEJEZES!!!!" You make me feel so darn guilty! I hate you! Good bye!   
*walks into concave space and flings curtains around her*   
ladyx: *appears out of nowhere* Remember, folks, I'm Melissa's author self. _She's _the one hiding cowardly in the concave space hiding from her dear fans. I love you! *picks up roses* Thank you! And I'M going to write Chapter 5 of A Typico Fight Between You-Know-Whos!   
Melissa: *flings open curtains* WHAT!?! You can't do that!!!! I'm the typist here!!   
ladyx: That may be, weird one, but _I _do the storylines.   
Melissa: *gets out stick* OH YEAH?!?!   
ladyx: *picks up tower* YEAH!!!   
Melissa: *bows* Ok then.   
ladyx: ::grins:: Well, on to chapter 5, then. Remember, folks! As long as you keep begging ladyxkodomo to write the next chapter and not this sod named Melissa, you'll always be getting the next chapter!   
Melissa: Damn.   
ladyx: What was that?   
Melissa: Oh, nothing.   
Dislcaimer: Once AGAIN I don't own Kodomo no Omocha/Kodocha, but I DO OWN THE NINTH BOOK!!! Great Sana and Akito sap, but utter disappointment in the end, though. I can't believe I have to wait till furgin NOVEMB to get the 10th book! *sob* Ladyx! Go get the 10th book for me! And you know what else I have noticed? Everything comes out in Novemb. I mean, nothing whatsoever comes out in Ocotob. Samurai Girl #4 comes out in Novemb, Zodiac P.I. #3 comes out in Novemb, Kodocha #10 comes out in Novemb, blah, blah, blah...   
ladyx: F---- off.   
Note: This chap is dedictated (or not) to Hurricane Isabel, or Hurricane Latisha, as my very weird bro calls it. He lives in VA Beach so I'm really worried but he doesn't have sandbags, plywood, and he's not goin to the evac center. You know what his plan is? To stay home, and eat Doritos. And wait for his tiny little house to be rooted up by Izzie's/Latisha's winds. YEAH. NICE PLAN.   
ladyx: Let me remind you, mel, that _your _plan is to stay home, sleep, and stay on the computer all day, tying up your precious phone line. Shouldn't you be raising that D in Science, that C in History, and those other low grades? Hmmmm?   
me: F---- off. 

A Typical Fight Between You-Know-Who's, Chapter 5 

Sana: Ohmigod!!! Did you see the news!??   
Fuka: No, no, what is it?   
Aya: Is there going to be a storm? A really really bad one?   
Akito: *snort* If there is, I hope it drowns Sana.   
Sana: *pulls out hammer* Do you value your life, Akito?   
Akito: Let me think about that. You're my girlfriend. Oh! My life holds no value whatsoever. Kill me now!   
Sana: *glint in her eye* Gladly.   
Fuka: GUYS! STOP! Didn't I send y'all tuh China!?   
Sana: We hitched a plane back.   
Akito: If anyone is wondering why there are 20,000 cartons of dim sum in the basement, they're Sana's.   
Sana: SHUT UP!!! Anyway, as I was saying, a typhoon is coming!!! A really bad one, like Hurricane Isabel in the states!!!   
Fuka: What's its name!?   
Tsuyoshi: Typhoons have names...? I never knew that....   
Sana: Lemme check. *pulls out newspaper* Typhoon....Typhoon Akito?!?   
Akito: Hmmm?   
Sana: Akito, they named that stupid typhoon after you.   
Akito: I'm flattered.   
Fuka: It's vicious, it's mean, it rips, it tears, it kills, it annoys you, and it destroys the town. Oh, great resemblance!   
Akito: Fuka, stop butting into Sana's role of the frikin story.   
Sana: Yeah, Fuka, stick to the damn script.   
Fuka: Oh, well, _excuuuuuuuuuse _me.   
Akito+Sana: Sure.   
Akito: Anyway, Sana, you'll have to stay indoors if you don't want to see me cheating on you. My typhoon self will be grabbing all the sexy women off the streets in a vain attempt to replace you.   
Sana: Vain...?   
Misako: (walks into room) Listen, people, the typhoon is expected to hit in 12 hours. If you don't want to get killed, I suggest you stay here.   
Rei: Ma'am!!! Are you sure it's a good idea to let Akito and Sana stay here together?!?   
Misako: Of course. If you hear weird noises coming from their room, then you know you have to look.   
Rei: Uh....right...is that good?   
Misako: No. Well, I'll get grandchildren but that can't be good.   
Rei: No, it can't. I agree.   
Tsuyoshi: So we have to stay in Sana's house until the typhoon is over?!?   
Akito: *silently* YESSSSSS!!!!   
Sana: Don't try anything fresh with me, Akito.   
Fuka: *smirk* Hehe, I'd like to see that happen.   
[The lights flicker.]   
Fuka: OHMIGOD!!!! THE LIGHTS'RE GOIN' OUT!!!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!   
Akito: Whoopee.   
Sana: *hits Akito with mallet* SHUT UP AKITO!!!! You're the one causing all of this!   
Akito: It's just my typhoon self, you idiot!!!!!!   
Sana: Typhoon Akito, Akito Akito. What's the difference?!?!?   
Akito: I am not normally a large swirling mass of water and wind!!!!   
Sana: Well you're a large swirling mass of hot air!!!   
Akito: Thank you!!!   
Sana: That wasn't a compliment!!!   
Akito: I know, because you're incapable of compliments!   
Sana: *gets out mallet* I'M WARNING YOU!   
Akito: *takes out laser stick* I'm warning _you!_   
[The lights go out.]   
Aya: EEEEEEEEK!!!   
Rei: Don't worry, kids, I'm here!   
Akito: What help is that going to do?!?   
Rei: Why you little...   
Sana: *gets out hammer* Stop being so stupid, Akito!   
Akito: *gets out laser stick* Oh, yeah!? Well, what about--*click*--hey--*click*--what the hell happened to my laser stick!??   
Fuka: The power's out, so your stick thang is too.   
Akito: DAMMIT!!! I knew I should have gotten one that ran on batteries.   
Fuka: Too late now.   
Misako: So now, let's listen to the radio and see what's going on out there.   
Tsuyoshi: Why don't we just ask Akito?   
Akito: SHUT UP!!!!!!!   
Misako: ALL OF YOU DARN KIDS SHUT YOUR FLYTRAPS!!!   
Sana: Mom!!!   
Rei: Miss!!!!   
Miss Shimura: Ma'am!!!   
Misako: That's me! Now let's listen.   
Radio Guy: ....and if you listeners have just tuned in to Japan News 101.1, we have new information on Typhoon Akito. It is now settling forceful winds of over 80 mpr on the Kanto Plains, in the Tokyo Area. Floods and heavy rain are expected. Please, if you live around this area, take careful caution...   
Aya: Look at all the damage you're doing, Akito!!!   
Akito: IT IS NOT MY FAULT!!! *hits Aya*   
Tsuyoshi: Akito.....what....did you.....just do.....to Aya?!?!?!??!   
Akito: Um-er--   
Tsuyoshi: HOW DARE YOU!!!! *picks up chair and flings it at Akito* AAAAAAAAAH!!! DAMN YOU AKITO!!!   
Sana: Akito!!! Make him stop!! He's getting to be as loud as the damn wind!!!!   
Akito: Hey, why not? There's no TV so this'll have to be my entertainment for tonight.   
Sana: *hits him on head with mallet* DO IT NOW!!!!   
Akito: God, fine, fine...   
*hits Tsuyoshi on the head*   
Aya: *sigh* I wonder sometimes if Tsuyoshi-kun has split personality disorder. Sometimes he's caring and responsible and neat and a great boyfriend and the next he's throwing chairs at his best friend.   
Sana: Well, I wouldn't be surprised if Akito had split personality disorder.   
Akito: Huh?   
Sana: Well, you're _always _pretty nice to me, Akito, but look at you now, ripping off the shingles of people's roofs and flooding Tokyo...   
Rei: She has a point.   
Akito: *throws chair at Rei*   
[Loud slam]   
Voice: SOOOOOOMMMMEEEEBOOOODDDDY HELLLLLLLLLPPPP MEEEEE!!!   
Misako: Oh my God, it's a voice!!!   
Sana: Oh my God!!!! Maybe it's a homeless guy!!!   
Akito: Are you going to take him in and make him your manager, too?   
Rei: *throws chair at Akito*   
Fuka: Aw, Aki, that was harsh.   
Akito: Hmmph.   
Miss Shimura: Ma'am!!! That voice was a person who is being pushed around by the wind and wishes to stay here for the remainder of the hurricane!   
Misako: Have you ever seen him on tv?   
Miss Shimura: Er-no...   
Misako: THEN LET HIM IN!!!   
Guy: Hello, I am a person who is being pushed around by the wind and wishes to stay here for the remainder of the hurricane!   
Misako: Who are you?   
Guy: I'm Sengoku-san.   
Akito: AAAAAAAAH!!! SEND IT BACK SEND IT BACK SEND IT BACK!!!   
Sengoku: AAAAAAH IT'S AKITO!!! WHERE THE BLOODY HELL AM I?!?!   
Sana: Um....you're in my house, Mr. Sengoku.   
Sengoku: Sana Kurata! I've always wanted your autograph. Can you--   
Akito: [shielding Sana] She's not gonna give you anything you pathetic dickwad!   
Sana: Akito!!!   
Sengoku: Oh? You're not her, step away.   
Akito: I'm her, uh, _bodyguard._   
Sengoku: _You?!?!?! _Akito Hayama???? Aahahahhahahhahha....that is too funny!!!   
Akito: *blush* IT IS NOT!   
Rei: Wow, Akito's blushing!   
Sana: See Rei, I told you he has feelings, gimme my money.   
Rei: *mumble* *mumble* Fine...   
Akito: Wha...?   
Sengoku: *slamming self against door* AHAHAHAA TOO FUNNY!!!!   
Akito: Might I remind you that I left a bit more than a bruise on yer damn cheek, Sengoku.   
Sengoku: Damn kid...   
Sana: So Mr. Senpoopoo!   
Sengoku: It's Sengoku.   
Sana: Monkeypoo?   
Sengoku: Sengoku.   
Sana: Kusoyaro?   
*In Japanese this means F you and I never really say that so I'm just putting it like that.   
Akito: Good one, Sana!!!   
Fuka: *spots a bottle on the floor* Hey, water. I'm thristy...   
Sengoku: You little--   
Fuka: Ah-ah-ah, Sengoku shit, you can't lay a finger on her else you'll get, er, whattizzit...put in public...arrested....yeah! You know....tabloi-ded.....whazzit?   
Sana: Um....are you ok, Fuka?   
Fuka: Nuttin like da good ole sake tuh liven yuh up.   
Akito: Hey, lemme have some.   
Tsuyoshi: Akito...!!!!   
Rei: Hey, that's where my sake went!   
All: [evil eye]   
Rei: Uh, I mean, water.   
Sengoku: *vulgar language*   
Misako: Tskitty tsk tsk. This man is posing danger to my daughter!!! AKITO!!!! GET RID OF THE FAG!!   
Akito: *sweatdrop* Er.....yeah...   
[Akito throws Sengoku's body out of the door.]   
Sengoku: YOU.....WILL....._PAY....!!!!!_   
[rams into tree]   
Sengoku: Owch--dammit!!!   
All: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!   
Radio Guy: And now, the eye of the typhoon is approaching Tokyo. Repeat, the eye of the storm is approaching Tokyo.   
Akito: EEEEEKKKK!!!! THE EYE IS WATCHING US!!!   
Rei: You stupid kid, it's not a real eye--   
Akito: I knew that.   
Sana: The eye of the storm is the middle of the typhoon when it is all quiet for a bit, thus giving storm victims a change to subdue the damage and stock up on equipment.   
Little kids: Thank you, Sensei Sana-chan!   
Fuka: *slurp* Bwaha yumm sake.   
Aya: Well, what are we going to do now?   
Sana: *appears with bathing suit and tube and rubber ducky* I'M GOING SWIMMING IN THE ROAD!!!   
[Remember, the roads are flooded.]   
Aya: No, Sana!!! The rain has acidic acid in it!!   
Sana: I'm made of acidic acid!!! BOO YA!!! *jumps into road*   
Akito: Hey, let's watch her sizzle to the death.   
Misako: *hits Akito on head* Damn you boy!! You're her boyfriend!!   
Akito: I am? Oh yes. I am the boyfriend of a turnip--I remember now!   
Fuka: Yummm Sana go sizzz.   
Tsuyoshi: *bangs head against wall* Why me...?!?!   
Sana: Whew, I feel all burned all of a sudden.   
END 

-------------------------   
End Note: WHEW. FINALLY!!!! MY GOD, I THOUGHT I WOULD NEVER GET THIS GOSH DARN THING DONE!! But I did. And now, I must work on my Evangelion fic. I wish you all farewell. (breaks through window)   
  
  



End file.
